Mr B losing numbers to T-Bone at Art Not Apart

Ok, slow down take a breath, we've got a lot of ground to cover art lovers.

Saturday Night at Art Not Apart the Blue Baron of the arts scene Mr B was attacked by T-Bone and Mac as a part of their art crusade.

BMOA supporters need not fear however as the mighty T-Bone was laid low by the tiny (but obviously powerful) X who flipped the man over. Mac had better luck with the pint sized super-soldier, and after she managed to pin X down it fell to the Bird to come out and protect Mr B with her magic powers.

Just in case you missed what I just said, I'll repeat myself.

The BIRD protected MR B with her MAGIC POWERS.

Just so we're all on the same page here. The Bird is working for B and has magic powers.

Right got that? Good, because from here on it gets weirder.

Unable to defeat the Bird T-Bone and Mac fled, kidnapping X in the process.

Here's some security footage I managed to, ah hem, "liberate":


Then Mac started calling for help online. It seems X isn't X at all, but is in fact Betty Wolfram, Mac's love interest/sparring partner from her old dojo. Mac has reached out looking for help deprogramming X, by entering a surreal virtual reality simulation.

I have offered Mac what assistance I can. While I am trying to remain neutral in the arts war I once swore to never again sit idly by while true love is denied by advanced cybernetic neural implants. That's a story for another time though, suffice to say my respect for you means I must disclose my attempts at assisting "Team Red".

Sadly I don't believe I have been much help, but plenty of you art fans pitched in and helped out. As a result, Betty appears to have returned (at least in part) and has now denounced the BMOA and taken up with T-Bone.

For those of you who were unable to help (or just wanted to skip to the end past that dammed cicada maze!) True Artists witnessed something very strange at the end of the experience:



The whole experience was a huge blow to Mr B for sure, although it seems with the Bird and her magical abilities on his side he has little to fear from T-Bone or his hench-artists. Still in sheer numbers Mr B's side isn't looking too good, and if I know the man he will be seeking out warriors to join his side. If you have combat skills, this may be an opportunity for some solid work readers.

So that's what has been happening, but what have I heard on the grapevine?

Well on the rumour mill I'm hearing a lot of discussion about the "Artifact" and stories of the fabulous wealth and power it will supposedly deliver onto the person who finds it. While many of You Are Here's artists and attendees have been busy taking up sides in the arts war, just as many seem to be setting out alone in an effort to find the artifact and claim its rewards (whatever they may be) for themselves.

Speaking of which, in the midst of Saturday's magical powers/cybernetic deprogramming another part of the document emerged (the third), hidden in the blanket fort at CMAG. Crazy capitals were there again as per usual:

Part 3 (The Middle Years)

It was a time when the markets took a kamikaze dive and everyone had to learn the depression jive. All around the sHite went down and everybody was broke and run down. With no work around the artifact grabbed its swag and took to the frog and toad dusty and brown. It sung with the swag men, and danCed with the washeR ladies. A drover from on over said it spent time as a billy cAn if you can believe the man. ClaiMs it sang old mountain tunes while it bubbled and boiled, it would be as Aussie as Kingwoods, meat pies, road kill roo and Uluru if this was true. 

However it is also written the artifact spent time among the painters and prostitutes, poets and dancers, the deacons and dignitaries. It walked the paths of Gorman House when it was a place for typists and clErks not artists and arts workers. Stop press the human race is in another mess. Another war came. So many wars and so many dEaths they built a museum, to hold the guts and the gloRy, the factual and gory and all the his-story. 

So sick of the big bad battle bass beat the artifact took to the skies with the galaHs. It flew from post to post singing nonsense songs for its feaThered hosts. It swam with the fish and ran with the roos, it dined with foxes and slept with the possums. But humans as stupid as they are were its favourite species by long and far.

 
In records where historY becomes mystery and smells of disinfectant and dysentery. There is the tale of the defector and detectors the artifact and a man named Petrov the unlikeliest pair you ever thought of. The whole affair had a Hollywood air even down to Mrs PeTrov’s hair. It was back theN that ASIO declared the artifact a red and said it was better off dead. So it went undErground, down, way down, amongst the bedrock and bedbugs. Amongst the unconformity Was where it was comfy. But this was just a kip and soon it was back up amongsT the hip and the happening, all crazy fast and maddening.

So where do your allegiances lie in all of this dear readers?

Me? Well as always I am interested in preserving two things. The Truth, and the Canberra arts scene.

Want to keep on top of what is happening (and keep competitive in the race for the artifact)? Then keep your eyes on these links as well as this blog:

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Current Mood: Exhausted.
Current Music: Björk - It's oh so quiet.